Wednesday, May 14, 2014

"Alternate Hilarities: An anthology of 31 humorous short stories in Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. CONTEST ALERT TOO!

Welcome to Giovanni Valentino, Editor and one of the authors in Alternate Hilarities!


Alternate Hilarities is a compilation of 31 humorous short stories.  Here is a little about the concept (LOVE the book cover, BTW...), followed by some info. on Giovanni, blurbs for some of the stories AND a contest!  Don't forget to ENTER TO WIN a $10, $25 or $50 AMAZON GIFT CARD!  Contest runs until 5/20/14 - ENTER TODAY!






Alternate Hilarities 

Blurb:

Along time ago in a city in central New York  ....
Alternate Hilarities
Episode 1
Back from the Dead

In the early nineties, a man had a dream. A dream of funny stories in his favorite genres, Science fiction, Fantasy and Horror. Not just a joke at the end of the episode like the original Star Trek or the occasional gem from Douglas Adams, but all the time.
            So the small press fan-zine, Alternate Hilarities was born. Six issues were produced against his ex-wife's express wishes.
And they were terrible! 
Just Terrible!
It looked semiprofessional but proofing was not his strong suit. He had no funds to hire a proof reader and let's face it, volunteers suck.
            But the stories were great. Many talented authors sent in great funny stories.  With concepts like game shows in the afterlife, the last man alive and the secret life of a teenaged mad scientist.
            But in the end, the cost of publishing his pet project became too much and the zine was retired.
            Now, two decades later, the overhead and distribution issues of the small press have almost disappeared with the advent of eBooks.  With a new partner in crime who can do line edits with a professional level understanding of spelling, grammar and punctuation, the man decided to give his old love a second shot.
            So, here it is, The New and Improved Alternate Hilarities. We have Alien invasions and Abductions, Time Travel, Ghost Ships, Demonic Possessions, Flatulent Clowns, Body Switching, Talking Monkeys and Feghoots.
That's right, I said Feghoots.
            Google it.
            So off we go. With Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Halitosis for all!
            Halitosis? WTF? I mean Polarity?
            Not Again! I mean H I l a r i t y?
            Damn AutoCorrect!


With Stories by ….







Giovanni Valentino


About the Editor: 


Giovanni Francesco Valentino has struggled at the art of writing for four decades against many demons like self-doubt, chronic depression, OCD and severe dyslexia. He has written a few memoir pieces about his life struggles going undiagnosed for more the half his life. He hopes one day to be a famous published science fiction and fantasy author. 
He is a member of the CNY Writers Haven, a critique and writer support group. He is the editor of the upcoming humorous anthology, Alternate Hilarities.

Goodreads Author Page

Here is a list of some of the stories in Alternate Hilarities


Attack of Ye Olde Zombies by Cathy Greco
And, thus, the world ends… not with a bang… not with a whimper… but with the mournful cry of an off-key bagpipe playing an undead reel, and the sad, sad sight of deflated codpieces never to be filled.

1-800-CALL-GOD by Chuck Rothman
Help is just a phone call away...

Adrift by Dan Doerflein
In life, he sailed the high seas with his pirate crew. All he wanted in death was to sail the seas again. Before he can escape his situation and obtain the afterlife he dreamed of, he must first defeat a pirate’s worst enemy: a bureaucrat.  

The Princess and the Witch by Isabel Sterling
Marisa only wanted one thing for Halloween: the ancient magic she possessed in a past life. She’d prepared for this ritual for years, and nothing could get in her way. Except, perhaps, her sorority girl roommate.

The Muse and the Psychiatrist by M. Kelly Peach
She was divinely beautiful, a daughter of Zeus with a serious problem. She needed a qualified and caring psychiatrist, with talent and experience, to help her. Little did she know he had his own agenda…

Upgrades by Daniel McPherson
Software updates. Sometimes they install cool new features. Other times they screw up your entire system. Which really sucks when the software is running inside your head.

The Great Abyss Disjunction by Danielle N. Gales
When Gregory Artifex became lighthouse keeper of the multiverse's loneliest dark corner, all he wanted was a little peace and quiet. The triggerfish, however, had different ideas. Gregory is about to have a very bad day.

The Bombastic Adventure of Bob from Planet 9 by Jaimie M. Engle
 Bob and Melvin sit at Flo’s Intergalactic Greasy Spoon on the Tuesday the joint is held-up by two symmetrical beings called ‘humans’. Melvin accidentally disintegrates and Bob seeks revenge. But a visit to His Greatness on Planet 9 may change everything.

Do Flatulent Clowns Smell Funny by John H. Dromey
“Emission Possible” at the circus. The gastric suspense is intense. Will there be comic relief?

Dead Right, Dead Wrong By Ronald Friedman
The active Dead are not much different than the rest of us, although they can bore you to tears with stories about how they died. As the number of Dead increased, they emerged from the shadows and became politically active. Their party, Dead Americans Mobilizing for National Integration and Tolerance (DAMNIT), was ready to field a candidate for the office of President of the United States.

Language Barrier by Steve Esling
"Mit-choo "Mitch" Maru is Tenerelli and Associate's first Titanian accountant! But his progress in breaking social barriers and becoming more than just a "token alien" comes to a halt after a sticky situation in the bathroom with a coworker. Will the skills he learned in his college English courses be enough to tell others about this unfortunate close encounter?"

Small Change by Steven Grassie
Miserable and almost broke, as per usual Paul’s in the pub drowning his sorrows. His evening takes a strange turn, however, when he encounters an interesting, if rather implausible, individual… who might just have the answer to his problems.

Cash on Delivery by Laura Thurston
When you absolutely, positively have to have had it already call Einstein Express, where hindsight is the same as foresight.

Overdue by Jay Fuller
When the librarian can flay your mind as easily as she can gut you, very little will stand between her and an overdue library book – even a powerful (and generally disagreeable) wizard. And what if the book wants a say in the matter? 

Diary of an Overlord by Clay Sheldon
Villagers are terrified, heroes quake in their boots, and the world fears his very name. Witness the origin of a terrifying(ish) demon lord. But be warned: not everything is as it seems...

Thorkwald and the Cherub by Day Al-Mohamed
The adventures of a misfit demon and his struggle to succeed, or at least not get fired (literally) in Hell’s corporate world. With the help of his trusty minion, an eight-legged llama, and his Ctrl-Alt-Smite button, what could go wrong?

Chicken Soup for the Demonically Possessed Soul by Felicia Lee
In this heartwarming tale of loss, redemption, and best practices for web design, we follow Al, a promising young man in the prime of his life, as he faces down the demons of unethical competitors and, well, actual demons.

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