Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Are Some Promises Meant To Be Broken?

Georgette Heyer

“As soon as one promises not to do something, it becomes the one thing above all others that one most wishes to do.” 
                                                                                                             ― Georgette HeyerVenetia

Is the best resolution of a promise to break it?  Is that ever OK?  Is that ever the right/best/only solution?

Let's examine and you decide.

So...Are some promises meant to be broken?  What do we mean by "meant to be" broken?  Well, is it a promise that never should have been made?  Was it made "under duress"?

Dictionary.com and Google Dictionary define "duress" as:

compulsion by threat or force; coercion; constraint.
Law. such constraint or coercion as will render void a contract or other legal act entered
 or performed under its influence.
forcible restraint, especially imprisonment.

  1. threats, violence, constraints, or other action brought to bear on someone to do something against their will or better judgment.

    "confessions extracted under duress"

    "their confessions were extracted under duress"
    • LAW
      constraint illegally exercised to force someone to perform an act.
    • archaic
      forcible restraint or imprisonment.

Ah...so contracts (which are written, legal promises) signed under duress are not legally binding.  Therefore, are promises made in our personal lives that were extracted from us under duress, morally binding?

Are there people in our lives that force promises out of us made under duress?  Did we agree, against our better judgement, for a variety of bad reasons, such as:

  • To get the antagonist "off our backs"
  • Out of some misplaced guilt that a manipulative person knew how to "work"?
  • Fear of the unknown if the aggressor is told -  just flat out, "No, I won't promise that."

Let's be clear on one thing:  A person that attempts to force, coerce, threaten, guilt, obligate, nag, badger,  or torture you into anything OBVIOUSLY  needs you more than you need them.

This is an "Aha Moment" if ever there was one!  So much so that it bears repeating:

While they must feel they NEED you, YOU really do not need them at all!

Image result for breaking chains

Did you realize that?  No, of course not, as you are too "nice" to think that way.  That is, to realize that it's probably totally one sided.  They must feel they need you desperately (key word:  "desperate").

There is nothing you need, get or want from them, but there are things they obviously feel they NEED from you.  That's their low self esteem and their desperation and many other things, but it is NOT love.

Perhaps they feel they NEED one or more of the following:

  • Your financial stability
  • Your emotional stability
  • Your medical insurance
  • A warm body in the chair across from them at the dinner table
  • Someone to help with household chores
  • To present a false front to the world
Who knows?  Perhaps they just NEED to "play the guilt card" or the "oh, poor me/victim card".

All really bad reasons, but whatever they (or other reasons that are just as crazy) are, they are their perceived NEEDS, not yours.  You really don't need anything from them.  So, given that realization, why would they not be a little nicer?  Because they are banking on the fact that you are too nice to realize that it is YOU that holds all the cards!  

So when they, as the dictionary defines, threaten to "force, coerce, restrain" you, your response could be...wait for it..."Or what?"   They have no power over you because they have nothing you want.  That's the priceless answer to the million dollar question!  "Or what?!"  Yes, it is that simple because they are empty threats.  You have what they think they need...you want nothing from them.  To quote a trending phrase: "Bye Felicia".  (Yes, I said it!)

"Bye Felicia"...It's a thing.  Look it up! 
Basically, when someone threatens you with something you couldn't care less about.
There's no power there, because you don't care anyway.
Google it.

They have no hold over you once you realize...well...that they have no hold over you!  You have stuff they need (quite desperately)...they (to put it bluntly) have absolutely nothing that you need or even want anymore.  That's where their fear comes from...they are terrified you will wake up and realize that. As soon as you grasp that truth, their power over you disintegrates.


In closing, some areas to ponder, then you decide:
  1. Was it a promise made under duress?  
  2. Was the person that strong-armed the promise out of you acting:
  • In their right frame of mind?
  • Out of love or out of fear? (EVERYTHING - All decisions, acts and statements - are based on one of the two.  Out of love is always the right choice, out of fear is always the wrong one.  For example:  Why do they behave like your prison guard?  That's the fear factor. )
  • With your best interest at heart?  
  • Thinking of your future or their present?
And speaking of that, is it even really in their best interest or is it just the fear-filled, knee-jerk reaction of someone who is no longer the person they once were?

Sometimes it is cruel to be kind.  Or what we may think is kind.  But in reality, consider:  Does the promise enable and prolong an unhealthy and dysfunctional situation?  Is this someone not in a position emotionally, psychologically or any other way to be calling the shots?

Do you need to take charge and act rather than react?

Can you declare what is and let the chips fall where they may?

Would that, ultimately, be the kindest, strongest, most noble option?


                                                      Related image

    One final thought:

    Jennifer Donnelly
    “I know it is a bad thing to break a promise, but I think now that it is a worse thing to let a promise break you.”
    ― Jennifer DonnellyA Northern Light

    Thursday, August 31, 2017

    Letter Writing Contest - The Best of the Best.


    Thursday, July 27, 2017

    Lizabet's Love Letter to Rick

    Enter to win a $50.00 Amazon.com Gift Card!  Contest on until  August 31st
    Check out our sample letter and then, see below for more info. to write your own for a chance to win!

    To My Love, My Own Rick,

    Day to day, there are so many little things I want to tell you.  Some big things, too, but it’s the little things that seem to mean the most and happen most often.  Because nothing feels real until I share it with you. 

    So many things run through my mind.  Things we’ve said, things we’ve shared, the places I go every day where we’ve spent time together.  The memories come flooding back in a bittersweet montage. 

    No, I don’t think I will list them here.  There’s no need to.  You know all of them as well as I do.

    Do you still feel you have nothing to offer?  Really?  Only everything I’ve ever wanted, love and hold in my heart.

    I want nothing but your happiness.  That and that alone, is everything to me.

    So please answer my most burning question:  Are you happy?

    Do you realize you are the most wonderful man in the world?
    Do your captors know that?  Do they have any idea who they are dealing with?
    Do they know how much you mean to me?
    Do you know how much you mean to me?
    Do I know how much I mean to you?  Yes, of course I do!

    You are in my dreams – but you know that.
    I am in your dreams – I’m certain of that. 
    I think of you always and you of me.  Often at the same time…and we feel that.

    So, we want to “Do the right thing”.  What is that?
    We know.  How?  We have an agreement.  Some agreements span the ages and surpass all else.

     Bringing you joy in any way, for any length of time (quality, not quantity), under any circumstances, unconditionally, on any terms is a gift from heaven.  And God must love me very much to have brought you into my life! 

    And being of help to you, in even a small way, is an honor and a privilege and is your gift to me.

    I promise you everything will be OK.  I promise you we will make it better. 
    But you know that.  You know all of this already.  You know it’s right.  You know it’s true.  You know it’s always been a matter of time and timing is everything.  You know that, too. 

    But here is something I think you may not know, so in case you somehow don’t realize it, let me tell you :  You are incredibly brave!  None of this has been your fault and yet your strength throughout is truly an inspiration.  You have more courage than anyone I’ve ever known.  Truly. 

    So reach out - take my hand.  You know you’ve really never let it go.

    What do you have to offer?  Only the very same things I have for you – the other half of my soul and my entire heart.

    I love you.  Unconditionally.  I always have.  I always will.

    Your Lizabet

    Choose one of these two themes for your Love Letter. Either:
    • Passionate - throw caution to the wind and just LET IT FLY!
    • Or…Loaded with “Dog Whistles”…meaning: Seemingly innocent if discovered, but containing lots of useful information as to possible ways to accomplish one or more of the following goals:
    1. Communicate
    2. Escape
    3. Tryst
    *Hollow Tree Address: 
    Mr. Rick Moutarde
    P.O. Box 630
    Absecon, NJ 08201
    Contest open until August 31, 2017.  Best letter (as chosen by Lizabet) will win a $50 Amazon.com gift card.

    PDF of "Original" Scroll Version

    Click on box on top right corner to take to full screen

    Also, check out our good friend Shehanne Moore's Blog - All about our very own Lizabet and Rick!

    Tuesday, July 4, 2017

    Scavenger Hunt...The Love Story of Lizabet and Rick and the Key to Freedom

    We begin with our Synopsis :

    The Love Story of Lizabet and Rick

    York, England 1617

    Both working on a large estate in Northern England, exactly 400 years ago, Lizabet Sirene is a wash and kitchen maiden and Derrick (known as “Rick”) Moutarde is in charge of the horses and stables.
    Both are madly in love with each other but already spoken for.  Their relationship, therefore, they believe is forbidden.  They make a pact that they will only express their feelings verbally; stoically vowing never to act upon them.  They are determined to be honorable, above all else. 

    There is such passion, however; such a magnetic and seductive quality surrounding them, that although they fight their feelings for as long as possible…one evening in the stables, the unexpected (though greatly desired) happens. 

    Tremendous guilt follows, leading to self-destructive behavior in the form of disproportionate self-punishment, the enabling of emotional blackmail, manipulation and ultimately for each of them…varying forms of exile and incarceration. 

    That feeling when someone really knows you,
    "gets" you and senses your deepest feelings and emotions.
    The one you can talk to, tell anything to and they understand
    and even complete your thoughts and sentences.

    Yet, through all of this, their emotions only grow stronger.  The more Lizabet tries to move on, the more she cannot forget.  The more Rick tries to think of something…anything else, the more he can think of nothing and no one BUT Lizabet and their one night of passion in the stables. 

    Though separated, each endures a similar, confusing montage of mixed emotions:  The euphoria, the feeling of freedom (like flying!), elation and perfection of their one encounter of ecstasy, unlike any either of them has ever known or even dreamed of before...juxtaposed against the torment from those seeking to advance their own vindictive agendas:  All out psychological warfare and exploitation of  already overwhelming and seemingly never ending burdens of nothing but guilt, duty and obligation.  Until finally, one day...an epiphany:  This is futile, pointless and unbearable as well as ultimately...unnecessary.

    Eventually realizing it is impossible to deny their true feelings and inevitable destiny; against all odds and despite tremendous challenges, Lizabet and Rick begin to find creative ways to communicate - ultimately breaking free from their (ironically, mostly self-imposed) respective sentences of house arrest and imprisonment.


    Although there were other methods utilized as well, Lizabet and Rick’s primary means of communication was a hollow tree in which each left messages and small tokens for the other.  The messages they left were always seemingly innocent enough that should they be stumbled upon by the wrong set of prying eyes (in particular, their captors); no incriminating or self-identifying evidence could be found in them.  They were careful to express what they wanted to convey, but in a way only they knew the full meaning of.  This might seem to be a tricky situation, but being so in sync with each other; sharing one soul as twin flames do – they often entered each other's dreams, read each other’s minds and felt what the other was feeling anyway, so it was not as challenging for them as one might think. 

    Eventually the literal “key” to freedom was obtained (too long a story for our brief synopsis!).  The importance of the key, however, was of such epic magnitude, that it could not be left to chance in the hollow tree.  A more secure, mutually agreed upon location had to be worked out.  This was not an easy task, even for Lizabet and Rick, in complete vibrational alignment with each other. How could they agree upon a specific designated hiding place for the key without stating it directly?  Somehow they managed.  How?

    “One who is in alignment is more powerful than a million who are not.”  - Abraham-Hicks

    The Scavenger Hunt:

    For our purposes, our “hollow tree” will be a post office box.  OK, OK, I know…it’s not very romantic, but it works.

    An actual, literal, tangible “key” will be awarded to the winner that will lead them to their goal.  If there is more than one correct answer, a winner will be chosen at random…You can trust me, these things are never rigged, right?   ;  

    The key to unlock your treasure will be left (true to our story) in a “knothole in the fence” – either literally or figuratively…and here is how that will work:

    The winner will have a choice as to how to obtain their key:

    ·         They may choose to have it mailed to them.  Perhaps they too have recently created (or will soon) their own modern day “knothole in the fence” or “hollow tree”, aka:  a PO Box! 

    ·         Or…They may choose to retrieve the key from an actual hidden location of their choosing.  NOTE:  This option only available if that location is within a 50 mile radius of Atlantic City, NJ!

    The Riddle:

    The Key to Freedom
    In a secluded cave there is a makeshift jail cell with a huge iron lock on the barred door to the cell. Outside the cave is a guard - more like a thug, really…at one time, a trusted friend and relatively gentle soul, now turned self-absorbed psychopath.  Anyway, (enough about them), inside the cave are two keys dangling, one each, on opposite walls adjacent to the cell; one gold and the other silver.  One opens the cell and thereby represents freedom for your beloved.  The other is to the guard’s lunchbox in which he keeps:  his lunch, pictures of himself (hand-drawn, as the camera has not yet been invented) and a book entitled “Torturing Captives for Dummies”. 
    The guard has been distracted just long enough (you hope!) to give you only one shot at opening the lock. If you choose the wrong key, you will not have time to try the second one.  You must select a key, open the lock, free your soul mate and flee – all before the guard catches on.  As the guard is not the sharpest, as long as you choose the correct key, this is do-able!  However, choose wrong and you will not get a second chance…at the key or at anything else as you most likely will not make it out of the cave alive. 
    So you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.  But wait…improve those odds by taking advantage of a clue!  Scribbled on the wall so that the guard will not forget which key opens the cell (I told you he is not bright), is the answer. You can choose the correct key by deciphering this code:


    To Recap:
    1.    Decipher the code
    2.       Select the correct key (choose wisely!)
    3.       Free your beloved
    4.       Run!

    1. First:  solve the riddle
    2. Next, leave a message in the hollow tree (aka, send your response to the PO box!  Address below)*  I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU!
    In your “message” be sure to state:
    • Which is the correct key, gold or silver? (The easy part.)
    • How did you decipher the code? (The hard part.)
    • The location to leave or send your key, should you be the victor  THIS IS IMPORTANT!  I NEED TO GET THE KEY TO YOU!

    *Hollow Tree Address: 

      Mr. Rick Moutarde
      P.O. Box 630
      Absecon, NJ 08201

    Cute, isn't he?

    Friday, May 12, 2017

    Welcome Back Author Shehanne Moore!

    Welcome back fellow Etopia Press Author (how we met) AND weekly Twitter Pal, the lovely and talented Shehanne Moore!  It has been FAR TOO LONG since you were on the blog.  I checked...2013!!!

    So thank you for taking time out of your VERY busy schedule and visiting with us along with some of your...umm...associates.

    Time Travel and the Time Traveling Mutants.

    Firstly Marie, let me thank you for inviting me to your lovely blog and risking me bringing my Time Mutants here.

    Not every one does given they can be dangerous

    but if one should ever approach you, just don’t sign anything. Okay? More of that later. 

    Sure, no problem (*what have I gotten into?*)

    Now then, Time Travel. There’s three types.  (And I bet you thought there were none?) Well, maybe there’s no real proper proof but do you think that’s stopped writers from constructing whole worlds around it? Not if the amount of books and films on the subject are anything to go by. 

    So yes, in the science of time travel we have---

    1 Time machine travel.

    2 Time slip travel
    3 Being a time traveler.

    Time machine travel involves having a machine that can transport us back to a particular time. It’s a device that needs little explanation so it’s a popular method when it comes to whizzing characters back and forth.

    Back To The Future, Doctor Who, Timecop, 12 Monkeys. You might say HG Wells was the father of that kind of time travel. When he wrote The Time Machine,

    he paved the way for all the books, movies and TV programs that followed. He convinced us such a machine could be made AND it could work too. In case it doesn’t, films like Timecop, Terminator and 12 Monkeys are set in the future where we accept things will be very different given technological advances.

    So next up comes, Time slip travel--a paranormal phenomenon in which a person, or group of people, travel through time often through a portal. Outlander, is of course, a major example of this.  The TV series Lost could count as  a time slip, the interesting thing being that there wasn’t a portal as such, there was an island which could be moved..as islands can be…and it led to characters being flashed everywhere.

    This medium is very  popular for writers as it takes care of the tricky  business of transportation.

    This brings us to the third  type of time travel, that is where the character is a time traveler. We know Doctor Who is a time lord and traveler but he does have a machine. A real time traveler has no machine and there is no portal.

    Think  having some kind of disorder, perhaps genetic, like in The Time Traveler's Wife, or the film, About Time, and  because of that disorder you have no control  of  the time flashes. How awful would that be? Imagine yourself landing any place at any time, think of the clash of cultures, worlds, personalities…..

    So how did a sweet, smexy girl like you find herself veering off into writing about time travel mutants?

    I fell into writing time travel  by accident, and the awfulness of  being an actual  time traveler and that actual clash, was one I wanted to examine in my Time Mutants series. (Okay I didn’t really but that’s another story.)  

    Time Mutants, as you can see are cursed, are damned, doomed to immortality. But by making a kiss all it takes for my Time Travelers to flash between two worlds initially, I did give them control of their lives. I was kind to them, honest.

    Wait a minute Shehanne...there is a true nugget of genius in what you just said.  So you are saying if you kiss someone (or someone kisses you...maybe even a bunch of times) and they disappear, it could be they are a time traveling mutant?  It all makes sense now!  Thank you so much for that.  And to think, I've been racking my brain ...oh, sorry, do go on.

    No problem.   So the fact that they’ve become Mutants is down to their simple failure to find one thing.  
    Even if it’s sometimes

    Again, so sorry to have interrupted, but I was overwhelmed.  Quite the "aha moment"...still taking all of that in.  Time traveling mutant...approach with caution.  (*Now she tells me*)

    Map of Border DisputeSomewhat of a vicious circle though, isn't it?  They've become mutants because of their inability to find love...which causes them to disappear after making out...oh,sorry...I mean kissing...which in turn prevents them from finding love (because they disappear...possibly from someone who may just love them with all of their heart).  What a predicament!  There must be some way to break the cycle.  Perhaps sheer strength, courage, bravery, the will to live, the knowing we deserve true love, the over-riding natural instinct to break free!  After all, the only way we can be held captive is if we, on some level, give our consent.  I believe Lincoln freed the slaves.  Yes, here it is right here:

    So sorry.  I went off on a tangent, didn't I?  But just trying to help.  Now...You were saying?

    Not at all.  All assistance and advice welcome.  I was just about to say I'd love to share a blurb for The Writer and the Rake

    Oh yes, please do!

    1765 had bugger all to recommend it.
    He saw her coming. If he’d known her effect he'd have walked away.

    When it comes to doing it all, hard coated ‘wild child’ writer, Brittany Carter ticks every box. Having it all is a different thing though, what with her need to thwart an ex fiancĂ©, and herself transported from the present to Georgian times. But then, so long as she can find her way back to her world of fame, and promised fortune, what's there to worry about?
    Georgian bad boy Mitchell Killgower is at the center of an inheritance dispute and he needs Brittany as his obedient, country mouse wife. Or rather he needs her like a hole in the head. In and out of his bed he’s never known a woman like her. A woman who can disappear and reappear like her either. 
    And when his coolly contained anarchist, who is anything but, learns how to return to her world and stay there, will having it all be enough,  or does she underestimate him...and herself?  

    And...You can read chapter one and find out more here:  The Writer and the Rake - Time Mutants

    That is awesome; thank you so much for the free chapter.  We will check that out right now.  

    And thank you so much for visiting us, Shehanne.  And all the way from the UK (Dundee, Scotland to be exact, for anyone that doesn't already know that). Oh...that reminds me...please forgive the fact that my spell check insisted on "American-izing" the spelling of several of your words - sheesh!

    But this went by too fast.  I didn't even get to ask you how the hamsters are.  Keeping busy, I'm sure.

    Image result for hamsters 

    Well, that's OK, that leaves something to discuss next time.  And speaking of next time...let's not wait so long.  

    Come back sooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!  Love you! XOXO

    Here are links for Shehanne:

    S M links:
    ShehanneMoore on:

    Facebook - Kilting the Book  "A community for lovers of highland romance about books, Scotland, kilts..."

    Monday, December 19, 2016

    A Holiday (Unconditional) Love Letter... Just for you

    If there were no words
    No way to speak
    I would still hear you
    If there were no tears
    No way to feel inside
    I'd still feel for you

    All of my life
    I have been waiting for
    All you give to me
    You've opened my eyes
    And shown me how to love unselfishly

    Dear Wonderful, Absolutely-perfect-just-the-way-you-are, No-need-to-change-a-thing you,

    Merry Christmas, Baby.

    Let's have no regrets. No looking back.

    You did what you thought was right - or the closest thing to "right" of the choices you felt you had.

    That was then and this is now.  

    Enough of that...let's move on (by all means!) to (drum roll, please...) my Christmas gift to you!

    It is my "Book of Positive Aspects" about you.

    What is a "Book of Positive Aspects" you might ask?  It is simply this:

    (Reprinted from InwardQuest.com)

    The process is one of Abraham's and is in fact called "The Book of Positive Aspects". Abraham suggests using it to raise our vibration and focus on those positive aspects of people and things we feel good about. I have in fact used it successfully to raise my vibration when someone is irking me or I don't feel too good about them. By focusing on only their positive aspects, what was irking me about them seemed to literally disappear and they began showing up in my reality in a mostly positive way.
    1. Purchase a notebook and write on the cover My Book of Positive Aspects 
    2. At the top of the first page write the name of the thing or person you want to focus on.
    3. Next, ask yourself these questions - What do I like about you? *Why do I love you so much?* What are your positive aspects? - If writing about someone that is irking you right now, the 2nd question may be hard to answer immediately; however, as you begin to focus on the positive in the person your vibration will begin to change and you will reach a place of love.
    4. Begin writing down the thoughts that come to you in response to the questions - do not force them. Write as long as the thoughts come easily and then read and enjoy your own words. 
    By focusing on the positive we begin raising our vibration to one of appreciation which is a powerful vibration. The more positive aspects we search for, the more we will find and our relationships with these people will change for the better. The more consistently we practice this, the more dominant the vibration will become and our reality will reflect this.
    There are many benefits to this process - you'll feel good doing it, your point of attraction will improve, your relationships will improve and more great things and people will begin showing up in your life.

    (Reprinted from WhatANiceWebsite.com)

    When you are appreciating someone, and they are unable to uplift themselves to the level of your vibration, they vibrate right out of your experience. Most people you love will be uplifted by your appreciation to a new level of appreciation and connectedness for themselves.

    OK, so here it is.  This is my ACTUAL book.  Not re-written or cleaned up at all.  That's why it's so messy and "dog eared"!  Of course, I had to cross out certain things that were just way too embarrassing and geeky and besides, I don't want you to get too big of a head!

    I hope I don't regret this.  DO NOT get too full of yourself!!!

    So once I got on a roll, there was SO much (added over quite some time - several months) that it has taken up two full pages so far.  And more things come to mind and the list gets longer every day.

    Say what you wanna say
    And let the words fall out
    Honestly I wanna see you be brave
    With what you want to say
    And let the words fall out
    Honestly I wanna see you be brave

    You can do it!  That's what I just did...do you think this was easy???  Talk about "brave"...if I do say so myself.

    BTW...If you're reading this, you ARE on the right track.

    One more REALLY, REALLY, VERY IMPORTANT thing to remember:

    You heard it here first.  Well, maybe second.

    Hmmm...Where have I heard that before?

    Merry Christmas With Love,
    Your Mermaid