Showing posts with label Paranormal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paranormal. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Welcome Guest Author Samie Sands and "Forgotten" - Contest Alert!


So happy to welcome Author Samie Sands this morning!  Please read on to learn all about Forgotten, Samie's second book in the AM13 series of three - the third of which she is currently working on.  


I'm sure you'll want to catch up on the first book of the series as well, Lockdown.  



Book Blurb:
The Lockdown has failed. The AM13 virus is spreading out of control and there doesn’t seem to be any way of stopping it. The Government announces its new plan—a sanctuary in an area completely untouched by the infected—as long as you can get there unscathed of course...


Author Bio
Author, Samie Sands
'Lockdown' - the first book in the AM13 series - is Samie Sand's first novel. That and the sequel 'Forgotten' have been published by Triplicity Publishing. She is currently working on the 3rd and final installment. 
Aside from her novels, she has had a number of articles published in e-zines including one of the most popular pieces in Zombie Guide Magazine. Samie has also had a number of short stories published in a wide range of very successful anthologies. To find out more about her, check out http://samiesands.com.





Click on this link to read a sample of Forgotten


http://www.slideshare.net/SamieSands/forgotten-sample


Samie is also currently running a competition!  Enter to win a signed copy of Forgotten:


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Check out the following "Buy" and "Follow" links to keep up with Samie:

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/SamieSands


Thank you for joining us today, Samie and the very best of luck to you.  Please keep in touch and let us know when the third book is available!


Friday, October 3, 2014

Welcome Back Author Ally Shields. Today is Release Day for "Cross Keys"!



Thank you so much for hosting me and my new urban fantasy release today! I'm thrilled for the opportunity to tell you a little about my book and to share a Cajun recipe, one of several I brought back from New Orleans while researching the book. (If you look around the blogs listed at the end, you'll find eight more recipes!)

Happy reading...and sampling of the Cajun cuisine. :)

Cross Keys (An Elvenrude Novel) by Ally Shields

Genre: Urban fantasy/Paranormal romance
Rating: PG-13

Book Blurb:
Conspiracy, murder, and magic…and the death of all they hold dear.

When the first wanderer—a common elf who isn’t authorized to use the portal—is spotted on the streets of New Orleans, the king assigns Kameo Ryndel to assist in the elf’s capture. But before she can intervene, humans with guns shoot the wanderer and steal his body. When Seth Lormarc, an Elite elf from a rival guild, appears at the scene, Kam suspects he is involved.

Seth Lormarc is in New Orleans to find out who was behind the portal breach, and his best lead is the intriguing Kam Ryndel. When he stakes out her apartment and finds her sneaking out in the middle of the night, dressed in black and leaping to the top of the nearest building, he knows there’s something unique about the beautiful elf. That kind of feat requires magic. Ancient magic.

As their paths cross during their investigations, they develop an irresistible attraction, although there’s little time for romance. The portal breach is tied to an illegal smuggling operation that has come to the attention of the human CIA. But the stakes are raised when Kam and Seth discover a band of conspirators and a rebellion deep in Elvenrude that promises nothing except destruction of their world.

Buy Links:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Kobo


Pre-release Book Trailer on Youtube:   http://youtu.be/2GgI4-50QfA

                         


    

Recipe:  One of my favorites was -

Louisiana Gumbo

12 oz boneless chicken cubed
Salt and pepper
1/4 C cooking oil
1 lb sausage
1/2 C all-purpose flour
5 T margarine
1 large onion, chopped
8 cloves minced garlic
1 chopped green pepper
1 C copped celery
1/4 C Worcestershire
1/4 C chopped fresh parsley
4 cups hot water
5 beef bouillon cubes
1 can stewed tomatoes
2 C okra
1/2 pound small cooked shrimp (optional)

Heat oil in heavy skillet or dutch oven. Add chicken, brown over medium heat, and season with salt and pepper.  Remove chicken to separate container. Add sausage to oil and cook until browned. Remove and add to chicken mixture. To remaining oil in pan, add flour and 2 T margarine. Stir until brown, abut 10 minutes. Pour roux over meat and let cool.

Turn heat to low, melt 3 T margarine. Add the onion, celergy, green pepper, and garlic. Simmer 10 minutes. Add Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper to taste and half the parsley. Stir frequently another 10 minutes. Add 4 C hot water and bouillon cubes, whisk. Add the chicken and sausage mixture. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 45 minutes. Add tomatoes and okra. Cover and simmer for 1 hour. Add shrimp and the rest of the parsley 5 minutes before serving.

Enjoy! Great over rice.


About the Author:

Ally Shields was born and raised in the Midwest, along the Mississippi River, and considers herself a "river rat." The setting and folklore of the river regions are often incorporated into her urban fantasy books. After  a career in law and juvenile justice, she turned to full-time writing in 2009, and Awakening the Fire, the debut novel in her Guardian Witch series, was released by Etopia Press in September 2012. There are now six published books in that series. Cross Keys is the first novel with all new characters.

When not writing, reading or spending time with family, she loves to travel in the US and abroad. 

Way too often she can be found on Twitter.

Contact the Author:



Special Thanks to the following bloggers who are spotlighting this release during the next few days (eight more Cajun recipes on their blogs!) - dates of post may vary due to time periods, etc.:

Oct. 6:  Rebekah Ganiere
Oct. 7:  Antonia van Zandt
Oct. 8:  Dani-Lyn Alexander
Oct. ?:  Theresa McClinton

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


So happy to be a part of Author Sofia Grey's "Release Day Blitz" for her new novel, Craving, the latest (Book #2) in the Talisman Series!


Tagline:
A deal with a demon, a biker psychic and the girl who might just be his salvation... if the demon doesn’t get to her first.

Blurb:
Dante isn’t your typical medium. With his leather jacket, tattoos and piercings, he looks more at home on his motorbike than he does holding a séance and Katherine has no intention of getting involved with him. He's the complete opposite of the kind of man she wants and represents everything she's tried to leave behind, but she needs a medium and he’s the best one around.


Dante’s never allowed himself to get close to anyone for fear of putting them in danger. His craving for Katherine is about to bring his worst nightmares to life. ~


Excerpt:
Dante’s breath hitched. He flinched, and a shudder ran up my arm. As he lifted his head I felt the temperature plummet. The candles nearest to him flickered and bobbed as though in a breeze and I shivered, chills oozing down my neck.
“Hello, Gabriel.” Dante sounded polite, respectful. Beside me, Suki gasped, her fingers closing tighter around my hand. One by one, the candles flickered and stuttered, the flames waved crazily and almost blew out, before righting themselves. It looked as though an unseen child crawled around the room, puffing at each one in turn. I shivered and tucked my feet in tighter, huddling into myself to keep warm.
“Please show yourself to the circle. Come and talk to us, Gabriel.”
I wrinkled my nose. What was that weird smell? Like rotting meat.
The outer candles shimmied in turn, but faster now. Dante spoke again, calm and measured. “Gabriel. I summon you to the circle.”
Suki’s chest heaved, her eyes wide and scared in the dim lights.
The candlelight steadied. Dante’s hand relaxed a fraction, and he sucked in a deep breath. Was this it? Would Gabe appear? The stink faded, and I turned my head to look at Dante just as Suki squealed and a tiny spotlight in the ceiling exploded. Poof. One by one, the recessed bulbs sparked and shattered, tiny glass fragments raining down on us. Poof. Josh swore under his breath and I sought my voice. Poof.
“Don’t break the circle, keep your hands linked.” Yes, I’d taken Nanette’s role.
Poof. Slivers of glass in my hair. I gripped Dante ever tighter. I kept my head down to avoid the falling glass, but focused on him through the curtain of my hair. He stared at the far wall, his face a mask. I looked too. A column of mist hovered in front of the door, tendrils snaked along the floor and washed around the circle, nudging the salt lines. It’s trying to get in, I realized, my heart speeding up. Poof. The final spotlight blew out, leaving us illuminated only by candles. I shivered, trembling from head to toe. My teeth would be chattering in another minute.
Dante gasped, and his head lolled forward. I blinked as the room began to dim. Oh God. One by one, the outer candles winked out, invisible fingers pinching the wicks. I could feel Suki’s terror, the trembling cascading down through her hand. I tried to stay calm. Just the inner eight candles left. The stink of rotting meat returned. I wanted to cover my nose, but daren’t break the circle. And then Dante spoke in a voice I didn’t recognize.

                       


BUY LINKS
Amazon / All Romance / Barnes & Noble / iTunes
Other Book Links:


If you haven’t read Obsession, Book 1 in the Talisman series, you can download if NOW for a limited time at 0.99!!!





BUY LINKS 


Also available in print

Blurb:
Josh Delaney is the ideal honey trap. His charm and model good looks would be enough for most women, but coupled with his psychic ability to read their thoughts, he’s impossible to resist. Suspicious husbands employ him to test their wives, to see if they can be tempted to stray.
High profile couple Suki and Gabe Bridgewater have the perfect marriage, or at least, that’s the image they portray to the world. Behind closed doors, Gabe’s dominance in the marriage is unravelling and he decides to test Suki, using Josh as bait.
For Josh it should be just another easy job, but two things go horribly wrong.
One, Josh falls in love with Suki.
And two, Gabe refuses to let her go.

Author Bio.:
Romance author Sofia Grey spends her days managing projects in the corporate world and her nights hanging out with wolf shifters and alpha males. She devours pretty much anything in the fiction line, but she prefers her romances to be hot, and her heroes to have hidden depths. When writing, she enjoys peeling back the layers to expose her characters’ flaws and always makes them work hard for their happy endings.

Music is interwoven so tightly into my writing that I can’t untangle the two. Either I’m listening to a playlist on my iPod, have music seeping from my laptop speakers, or there’s a song playing in my head – sometimes on auto-repeat.

Check out my playlists on Pinterest

Author web links:


Catch me blogging with Allyson Lindt at www.GeminiGirls.com

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6906923.Sofia_Grey
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sofia.Grey.Romance.Author
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/sofiagrey1/
Twitter: @SofiaGreyAuthor   https://twitter.com/SofiaGreyAuthor 
Amazon author profile page: https://www.amazon.com/author/sofiagrey
Tumblr: sofiagreynz@tumblr.com



     

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Welcome Back Guest Author, Greg Sandora and "Gabby, Angel of God"


Welcome back Greg Sandora!  So happy to be a part of the book tour for Gabby, Angel of God!  If you LOVE, LOVE, LOVE angels (and WHO DOESN'T?)...this book is for you!


Here is a little about Greg and then we will visit Gabby, Angel of God.


I'm originally from the Portland, Maine area and lived and worked there for years before moving to Southwest Florida.

My first book, Jack Canon's American Destiny: He's All In, is a Presidential Thriller, or some might say White House Mystery Thriller, packed with action and adventure.

I just completed the sequel to Jack Canon's American Destiny - which is titled Jack Canon's Women of the House: Love, Lust and Loyalty (A story of Kindness, Passion and Courage that can't be separated. It's has all of the same components of the first but leans toward a Presidential Romance, or White House Romance Thriller.

The sequel is just as action packed, but with a bit more spice than the first, some would say it's very sensual. Anyway both are available on Amazon now.

My stories are full of adventures, thrills, and romance, are fast paced and even have some hilarious moments.

The Jack Canon series will eventually be about 7 books, book three is tentatively titled, Jack Canon's Ghost Operative, it's a Presidential Agent Thriller and deals heavily in the shady dealings of the CIA, Global Terrorism, and the do-what-ever it takes spy mentality. Anyway the attitude of President Jack Canon is to make things right, No matter what!

My hope is to have people read the stories and let me know their thoughts. My dream is to write full time and return to beautiful Maine in the Summertime while spending winters in Florida. I probably share that goal with a lot of people.

My Dad and Mom were artists, my father painted and my mother wrote poetry and loved to garden.

Most Saturdays we loaded up the 1970 Chevy Impala to trek to a one man show somewhere or other. I took a different track graduating with a business degree; owning and operating an Award Winning Franchise Fitness Center. Currently a professional manager I am living in Florida with my beautiful wife and children, and following my passion.

About Gabby, Angel of God:



Gabby, Angel of God is a Supernatural Romance Thriller that feels like falling in love!


The story starts out with a young widower, Bo, raising two small children and the three heartbeats that will change his life. Ride along as stunningly beautiful Gabby, takes this human man on the no-holds barred adventure of a lifetime!

If you've ever lost a loved one this story is for you!

A story of Peace, Love, Hope, Charity and the strength of Faith, you'll love Gabby, Angel of God.

Gabby, is gorgeous, powerful, and able to take on forces that would make the most powerful armies turn and run for their lives. You'll be addicted in no time!

Pure Fun...an Adrenaline Rush!

Just when a young man feels he has lost everything he meets an angel and finds out that his life is just beginning. Gabby is an angel of God who shows him that life is always full of surprises, adventures and a lot more meaning than we can easily fathom. She shows Bo how to help others, be open to love again and find the hidden strength that lies within all of us. It is a story with heart and hope that will take you on an adventure of faith with one amazing angel.

Gabby, Angel of God will take you on one heck of a ride!

Gabby, Angel of God is a Supernatural Romance Thriller, it involves an angel, Gabby, short for Gabriella - Basically, a man during a visit to Bar Harbor, Maine encounters a beautiful angel named Gabby; quite accidentally, he is told - she wasn't supposed to make him aware of her existence. His purity of spirit, kindness and capacity for love has revealed her to him. Naturally he falls hopelessly in love with the beautiful creature, as humans can not resist angels. The book is titled Gabby, Angel of God, Guardian and Messenger (Keeper of the Peace, Love, Hope, Charity and Faith). She's quite something and they go on a quick but exciting adventure helping people in trouble. Gabby fits nicely in the Supernatural, Romantic Thriller, Paranormal and Time Travel genres.

Think Angel Encounter, Angel Romance Thriller, or Angel Adventure.

Excerpt:

The door chimes at the top of the old door rang, signaling our arrival. Other than the little bells jingling, everything seemed too quiet. I quickly surveyed the room sensing something was wrong. More often than not you would get a friendly greeting when you entered a store, especially in a small one-person shop. The shopkeeper would normally be so glad to see a customer or have anyone stop by. Not here, not today, something was off.

The store itself was normal - laid out the usual way with a few grocery isles to make the state happy. Maine has a stupid rule that small stores must stock at least a certain dollar figure of groceries in order to maintain a license to sell beer, wine, and cigarettes. That’s how the proprietor makes his money. To meet the requirement variety stores usually stock a few isles of dust covered groceries conveniently priced at three times normal. The right side of the store was reserved for groceries, leaving the left side of Zeb’s lined with a neat display of old- fashioned beer coolers. A dark oak, glass front counter had pride of the place at the back of the store. It was topped by and old-fashioned brass cash register.

What seemed odd to me was the way the shopkeeper continued staring straight ahead without saying anything. Not even a friendly, "What can I do you for," when we walked in. A tall, heavy-set biker stood faced toward the counter between the closest beer cooler and the center aisle. His massive bulk, greasy ponytail, and leather vest made him look ominous. Gorilla hairy except for his shaved arms completely inked with skulls, daggers, and black lettering. The words so stretched over his skin you could barely make out the ink. I always give guys like him a wide berth.

"Don’t worry, Bo," Gabby offered reassuringly as she walked straight up to the counter as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Standing side by side with the tattooed giant,

"Do you have Tab," she asked. "My boyfriend would like one." Her voice was so cute I had to smile. I loved hearing Gabby call me her boyfriend. Even if it was just for show, I played along.

The shopkeeper was shaking his head and biting his lip. I knew he wanted us to just turn around and walk away. The sooner the better, if I was judging his demeanor correctly. I was beginning to feel and sense things around Gabby. It felt like my brain was finally waking up from a long slumber and making connections that I never made before.

The big man turned to face my angel, towering over her, even in her heels. "They’re fresh out, Missy," he barked, trying to intimidate, "Why don’t you and your little girly man save yourself the trouble, and just leave."

The storekeeper’s eyes were pleading with us to go. Gabby was undaunted. She turned toward him, "Is that any way to speak to a lady, Wesley?" She asked so fearlessly. It was sexy. I’ve never seen anything like it and I was falling in love.

"How did you know my name you prissy little bitch?"

Gabby stood toe to toe with him. "The same way I know you’re wearing your mother’s underwear, you big pussy-ass fat bastard!"

She’d obviously struck a nerve. Wesley breathed in deep and stood to his full height puffing out his chest. He lifted his fat arm, exposing a grotesque wad of black underarm hair. He pointed a platinum-plated 44 magnum at Gabby’s face. "I’ve heard about a fucking-nuff out of you, whore!" He snapped red faced obviously embarrassed by her perceptive reading of him.
Gabby looked at him with contempt. "Oh, shut your bad breath, foul smelling, ugly trap, Wesley, you big-girl phony."

"Are you done? Slut!" He raged, "Who dies first," he growled, "you or your little girlfriend." He pointed the gun back toward me.

"You wanna go first, Fuck!?" He asked, "Or maybe I should let you watch while your little bitch bleeds. How would you like that, Princess?" He cocked the gun.

I was tiring of the fat man. I’ve been called wiry and rugged, even handsome, but never girly or princess. Gaby’s confidence inspired a supreme sense of calm. I was searching my memory for the right words, something droll to say. It wasn’t every day I had the protection of an angel of God. I wanted to say something that would impress her and make me sound cool, like Clint Eastwood. Before I could think of anything Gabby kicked her red heel high into the fat man’s chest, sending him flying into the closest beer cooler. With the force of a projectile, his body hit the back of the antique cooler, shattering through the glass doors and bursting the contents. Beer cans were flying out spurting everywhere, rolling past me squirting their foamy contents all over the floor. The heavy impact caused the store alarm to go off.

It all felt surreal. What’s wrong with this picture? There was a dead body, broken glass, beer spraying all over the place. A half hour ago I was lying down on the seat plank of a picnic table taking a nap, relaxing. Now I’m accessory to murder, with an angel. That’s going to be tough to explain.

Gabby turned to me, "Are you okay?"

I was flabbergasted. "I didn’t know angels killed people?"

"They don’t, Bo, that guy was already dead!" She whispered to me. Gabby looked at the body of the biker and whispered, "Jesus." While the sweet fragrance of His name was still on her lips, a dark shadow left Wesley’s body, disappearing like black vapor through the sidewall of the store.

"It’s going to be fine." Gabby reassured the man behind the counter. She went to him and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He was understandably very upset.

"You didn’t see anything. You don’t have to remember what happened."

"I didn’t see anything," he repeated her words, shaky and dumbfounded.

She turned to me, "Bo, we’d better go. You’re right; this would be tough to explain."

"You read my mind?"

She grinned at me. "Yeah, get used to it."

"Did you know all this was going to happen?"

Gabby shrugged. "No, I usually get my orders just before He needs me."

"Oh, you find out just before?"

Gabby winked at me. "Don’t worry, He never gives me more than I can handle."

"Good thing!" 


Author Links


Purchase Links



CONTEST ALERT!

US Only - Three winners will receive autographed print copies of Gabby, Angel of God!

  


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, May 23, 2014

Welcome Back Good Friend & Author Milly Taiden and "Dangerous Protector"! CONTEST ALERT-KINDLE HD FIRE & MORE!!!



So happy to welcome back our good friend, Author Milly Taiden and her latest book, Dangerous Protector!  So sit back, read all about it (as they say), check out the video and be sure to ENTER THE GIVEAWAY FOR A KINDLE HD FIRE OR $140 GIFT CARD TO AMAZON OR B&N OR 13 OTHER FABULOUS PRIZES


Dangerous Protector
Federal Paranormal Unit 2

If you run from love, you're asking for a chase... 
James Brock lived the past ten years without the woman he loves. Using his job as head of the Federal Paranormal Unit to help others, he's done a good job of ignoring his lack of a personal life until she returns. His salvation. His first love. 

Cynthia Vega had a very good reason to leave the only man she loved after she'd accepted his marriage proposal. Now she's back as his boss. And he's not willing to ignore their chemistry or the past. 

Brock is determined to claim his mate and prove that their passion is even hotter than before. He wants her and her explanation behind their separation. Except, some secrets won't stay buried in the past. Brock will fight his demons to follow her lead, but Cynthia's reluctance to explain their lost love may be the one key to their destruction...






Book Trailer – Check out this sexiness!

              



Excerpt:


Dangerous Protector
© Milly Taiden, Latin Goddess Press 2014
Chapter One

 “Brock!” The sound of Cyn’s yell reached him just as he was about to hop into the passenger side of his vehicle.
He stopped. The frustration he was tamping down surged all over again. She reached him a moment later, still panting from the run out of the burning house.
“I just want to say…thank you.” Her gaze dropped down to his mouth. Lust bubbled up inside him. At her slow lick of her lips, he had to grit his teeth to stop himself from hauling her to him. To taste her. “I know your team found the child.” She met his gaze. Desire sparkled in the depths of her hazel eyes. “I appreciate it.”
The beast he never allowed control roared inside, demanding a taste of her lips. Ah, those lips. She had the full luscious bow shaped lips that he knew were soft, decadent, and fit perfectly against his. Her lips, along with every abundant curve on her sexy body, had been his downfall.
“You don’t need to thank me. This is our job.”
“I know I don’t need to thank you. But you and your team…” She glanced over his shoulder into the SUV. Ramirez and Donovan were actively studying them with interest. “You got her and called for help before anything could happen. You saved this child.”
He gripped the door handle. “No. We found her. You saved her.”
“James…”
The hairs on his arms rose. Something unlocked inside him. Her husky voice, pitched with that sexy Latin accent, was like a punch to the gut. It was low, so low over the still blaring sirens, over the shouts from the firefighters, if he hadn’t had enhanced hearing, he’d never have heard it. None of that mattered. To hear her say his name so softly instantly brought back memories of another time, another place. A time when they’d done much more than mere talking. She shifted. His attention was drawn to her chest. The material of her top plastered to her body, showing off her full breasts.
Ignore it.
He pushed the unwanted memories and feelings back. “You got the kid, Vega. That’s what matters.”
Hurt clouded her eyes. Should he care that she’d been hurt because he called her by her last name? No. He couldn’t care. She’d left him and never returned. Until now. Those emotions weren’t part of him any longer.

Add Dangerous Protector to your Goodreads TBR Pile!

So, where can we buy this awesome book (you may be asking)???


AND...here is where you enter the Rafflecopter Giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you have not already done so, meet the author, Milly Taiden!


Author Bio.:

SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A $50 GC EVERY MONTH!

here:
http://mad.ly/signups/87477/join

Hi! I'm Milly (AKA April Angel) I love to write sexy stories. They're usually either paranormal or contemporary with a large dose of heat. My paranormal stories can be anything from wolf-shifters (my favorites) to witches, demons and anything in between. I was born the prettiest part of the Caribbean known as the Dominican Republic. Currently, I live in New York City with my hubby, the bossy kiddo and our little dog "Needy Speedy". Don't ask.

When I'm not working some really long hours at the day job, or hanging out in the awful life-sucking invention known as Facebook, messaging my bestie in the UK or shopping with my sis Julie, then I can be found watching scary movies. Buuut when I'm not doing that, I'm usually writing because the voices won't shut up.
I am addicted to shoe shopping, chocolate (but who isn't, right?) and Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

Come by and visit me! I love to meet new readers!

Website: millytaiden.com
Facebook: facebook.com/millytaidenpage




Wednesday, May 14, 2014

"Alternate Hilarities: An anthology of 31 humorous short stories in Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror. CONTEST ALERT TOO!

Welcome to Giovanni Valentino, Editor and one of the authors in Alternate Hilarities!


Alternate Hilarities is a compilation of 31 humorous short stories.  Here is a little about the concept (LOVE the book cover, BTW...), followed by some info. on Giovanni, blurbs for some of the stories AND a contest!  Don't forget to ENTER TO WIN a $10, $25 or $50 AMAZON GIFT CARD!  Contest runs until 5/20/14 - ENTER TODAY!






Alternate Hilarities 

Blurb:

Along time ago in a city in central New York  ....
Alternate Hilarities
Episode 1
Back from the Dead

In the early nineties, a man had a dream. A dream of funny stories in his favorite genres, Science fiction, Fantasy and Horror. Not just a joke at the end of the episode like the original Star Trek or the occasional gem from Douglas Adams, but all the time.
            So the small press fan-zine, Alternate Hilarities was born. Six issues were produced against his ex-wife's express wishes.
And they were terrible! 
Just Terrible!
It looked semiprofessional but proofing was not his strong suit. He had no funds to hire a proof reader and let's face it, volunteers suck.
            But the stories were great. Many talented authors sent in great funny stories.  With concepts like game shows in the afterlife, the last man alive and the secret life of a teenaged mad scientist.
            But in the end, the cost of publishing his pet project became too much and the zine was retired.
            Now, two decades later, the overhead and distribution issues of the small press have almost disappeared with the advent of eBooks.  With a new partner in crime who can do line edits with a professional level understanding of spelling, grammar and punctuation, the man decided to give his old love a second shot.
            So, here it is, The New and Improved Alternate Hilarities. We have Alien invasions and Abductions, Time Travel, Ghost Ships, Demonic Possessions, Flatulent Clowns, Body Switching, Talking Monkeys and Feghoots.
That's right, I said Feghoots.
            Google it.
            So off we go. With Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Halitosis for all!
            Halitosis? WTF? I mean Polarity?
            Not Again! I mean H I l a r i t y?
            Damn AutoCorrect!


With Stories by ….







Giovanni Valentino


About the Editor: 


Giovanni Francesco Valentino has struggled at the art of writing for four decades against many demons like self-doubt, chronic depression, OCD and severe dyslexia. He has written a few memoir pieces about his life struggles going undiagnosed for more the half his life. He hopes one day to be a famous published science fiction and fantasy author. 
He is a member of the CNY Writers Haven, a critique and writer support group. He is the editor of the upcoming humorous anthology, Alternate Hilarities.

Goodreads Author Page

Here is a list of some of the stories in Alternate Hilarities


Attack of Ye Olde Zombies by Cathy Greco
And, thus, the world ends… not with a bang… not with a whimper… but with the mournful cry of an off-key bagpipe playing an undead reel, and the sad, sad sight of deflated codpieces never to be filled.

1-800-CALL-GOD by Chuck Rothman
Help is just a phone call away...

Adrift by Dan Doerflein
In life, he sailed the high seas with his pirate crew. All he wanted in death was to sail the seas again. Before he can escape his situation and obtain the afterlife he dreamed of, he must first defeat a pirate’s worst enemy: a bureaucrat.  

The Princess and the Witch by Isabel Sterling
Marisa only wanted one thing for Halloween: the ancient magic she possessed in a past life. She’d prepared for this ritual for years, and nothing could get in her way. Except, perhaps, her sorority girl roommate.

The Muse and the Psychiatrist by M. Kelly Peach
She was divinely beautiful, a daughter of Zeus with a serious problem. She needed a qualified and caring psychiatrist, with talent and experience, to help her. Little did she know he had his own agenda…

Upgrades by Daniel McPherson
Software updates. Sometimes they install cool new features. Other times they screw up your entire system. Which really sucks when the software is running inside your head.

The Great Abyss Disjunction by Danielle N. Gales
When Gregory Artifex became lighthouse keeper of the multiverse's loneliest dark corner, all he wanted was a little peace and quiet. The triggerfish, however, had different ideas. Gregory is about to have a very bad day.

The Bombastic Adventure of Bob from Planet 9 by Jaimie M. Engle
 Bob and Melvin sit at Flo’s Intergalactic Greasy Spoon on the Tuesday the joint is held-up by two symmetrical beings called ‘humans’. Melvin accidentally disintegrates and Bob seeks revenge. But a visit to His Greatness on Planet 9 may change everything.

Do Flatulent Clowns Smell Funny by John H. Dromey
“Emission Possible” at the circus. The gastric suspense is intense. Will there be comic relief?

Dead Right, Dead Wrong By Ronald Friedman
The active Dead are not much different than the rest of us, although they can bore you to tears with stories about how they died. As the number of Dead increased, they emerged from the shadows and became politically active. Their party, Dead Americans Mobilizing for National Integration and Tolerance (DAMNIT), was ready to field a candidate for the office of President of the United States.

Language Barrier by Steve Esling
"Mit-choo "Mitch" Maru is Tenerelli and Associate's first Titanian accountant! But his progress in breaking social barriers and becoming more than just a "token alien" comes to a halt after a sticky situation in the bathroom with a coworker. Will the skills he learned in his college English courses be enough to tell others about this unfortunate close encounter?"

Small Change by Steven Grassie
Miserable and almost broke, as per usual Paul’s in the pub drowning his sorrows. His evening takes a strange turn, however, when he encounters an interesting, if rather implausible, individual… who might just have the answer to his problems.

Cash on Delivery by Laura Thurston
When you absolutely, positively have to have had it already call Einstein Express, where hindsight is the same as foresight.

Overdue by Jay Fuller
When the librarian can flay your mind as easily as she can gut you, very little will stand between her and an overdue library book – even a powerful (and generally disagreeable) wizard. And what if the book wants a say in the matter? 

Diary of an Overlord by Clay Sheldon
Villagers are terrified, heroes quake in their boots, and the world fears his very name. Witness the origin of a terrifying(ish) demon lord. But be warned: not everything is as it seems...

Thorkwald and the Cherub by Day Al-Mohamed
The adventures of a misfit demon and his struggle to succeed, or at least not get fired (literally) in Hell’s corporate world. With the help of his trusty minion, an eight-legged llama, and his Ctrl-Alt-Smite button, what could go wrong?

Chicken Soup for the Demonically Possessed Soul by Felicia Lee
In this heartwarming tale of loss, redemption, and best practices for web design, we follow Al, a promising young man in the prime of his life, as he faces down the demons of unethical competitors and, well, actual demons.

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